The foundation of any relationship is friendship…Staying closely connected while living a busy life seems impossible even for the best of couples.

In this module couples will learn:

• How to build a strong friendship

• Practice “love conversations”

• Implement daily check-ins.

At the end of this module you will have a realistic plan of what daily engagement and connection will look like for your unique relationship.

Attachment styles are at the root of how we show up in our relationships. Our early childhood experiences shape our attachment styles and can positively or negatively impact how well we do in romantic relationships.

In this module couples will learn about the four attachment styles (secure, disorganized, anxious and avoidant).

Couples will identify their attachment styles and learn how it impacts their relationships.

If you have lived past the age of 5, you have likely experienced negative things that have impacted you. Many of these negative experiences often go unnoticed in how it affected your brain and shaped how you navigate the world. In this module, couples will learn about trauma, the impact trauma has on the brain, and how we are triggered in our relationships from things that pre-dated our marriage!

Understanding the impact trauma has on our life will help us create a plan for navigating and overcoming the negative effects of trauma.

Trauma or not, we all experience overwhelming emotions…And our relationship is the place where we can experience a fury of emotions that can take us outside of ourselves. Have you ever been so triggered you found yourself acting out of character!?

Emotions are powerful and can often leave us stressed and overwhelmed if not managed well.

In this module, couples will learn emotional regulation skills to help manage difficult emotions.

At this point couples will have an understanding of their attachment styles, traumas they have experienced, and how to manage difficult emotions. Now it’s time to dive deeper into healing some of those triggers!

In this module, each person will choose one trigger to practice group EMDR. The goal is to reduce the intensity of triggers so they no longer have a powerful effect on you. Ideally reducing the emotional intensity of a trigger will help you engage better in the present.

Our “demon dialogue” is the dance of disconnection we often get caught up in when we enter our “cycle.” This cycle is never helpful to the relationship even if you remain respectful or quiet because the end result is disconnection. When you are able to identify and STOP this disconnection cycle, you can replace it with something more helpful. A new “dance” that fosters connection, intimacy and strengthens your bond as a couple.

In this module couples will:

• Stop the spiral of insecurity that causes the pain of disconnection which leads to reactive anger which leads to dismissing or distancing which leads to more pain.

• Create basic safety – the beginning of a secure base

• Each couple will identify their own unique moves in the dance

• Change the level of emotional intensity

• See your dance as the enemy not your partner

Raw spots are emotional triggers we have from present or prior relationships, sensitivities from temperament, attachment injuries. When our raw spots are triggered it creates a sense of helplessness and causes us to feel deprived, deserted and rejected. Dealing with raw and heavy emotions is a challenge for even the most restraint person. If you are human, it also means you have triggers that can cause an intense emotional response…Whether that may look like screaming out loud, or shutting down and retreating…Recognizing and responding to your triggers appropriately will be helpful to protecting your partner and your relationship.

In this module, couples will learn:

• To deepen their trust for each other

• Learn greater awareness of their partner’s raw spot

• Learn how to help soothe their partner’s raw spots

• Become a safe place for each other

This week couples will integrate what we they have learnt in week 2 and 3. We will focus on repairing rifts, rising above the negative cycle, reframing the cycle as the enemy (not your partner). Couples will learn to take personal responsibility for their healing.

The key steps in this process:

1. See the cycle – call it- stop it

2. Both partners claim their moves

3. Claim your softer raw spot emotions

4. Own how you shape your partner’s feelings “I turn away and you get scared.”

5. Supportively share your softer emotions

6. Find an exit – comfort each other

7. Recreate a secure base

When couples are able to stop the disconnection cycle they can replace it with a positive cycle that creates safety and connection. Couples will be able to tune in to their deeper emotions and share fears with their partners. Partners will be able to stay positively engaged without being triggered and spiraling into a cycle. Couples will be able to share their deeper needs in a way that helps their partner to respond positively.

At the end of this session couples will be able to:

• Turn moments of disconnection into bonding conversations that fosters intimacy and connection

• Actively build a positive bonding cycle instead of a disconnection cycle

• Grow trust and create a safe heaven and secure base in their relationship

• Access skills and stay flexible

• Be more assertive and confiding

• Empathize and give care to your partner

In any relationship we will hurt each other. How we deal with these hurts is what matters. The key to a successful relationship is good relationship repair. In this week’s session, couples will learn the steps to forgive relationship injuries and learn that under their partner’s reactive anger is sadness and/or fear.

Partners will learn to communicate:

• Your hurt is legitimate and understandable

• Your hurt impacts me – I care about it – it matters

• I feel sorrow, regret, even shame – I own that I hurt you

• I am here now

Couples find how emotional connection creates great sex, and good sex creates deeper emotional connection. Couples will have access to a pre-recorded Sex Workshop facilitated by a sex therapist. We will break down common myths and misconceptions surrounding sex and sexual intimacy.

This last session is built on the understanding that love is a continual process of losing and finding emotional connection; it asks couples to be deliberate and mindful about maintaining connection.